They Shut Off my Lights and I Like It

They shut of my lights (and heat) with no warning...

Here's the thing, PNM was threatening me all the time, anyway, and the stress
was taking a toll on my health. For some reason when I paid my electric bill
with Bill Pay through Wells Fargo, PNM maintained it
was not paid into the right account, that Wells Fargo
was making an error. But it went into an old account
of mine with a balance, so I feel sure PNM was
directing where the money went.

I had sent in money to pay everything, but PNM
put the money into "deposits" and kept threatening
me as if I had not sent in the money. Every month
I'd go through the same thing and end up screaming
into the phone. My feeling is that they don't try to
be accurate because they rely on depriving people of heat and light to make
them do things.

Anyway... on San Isidro Day, patron saint of agriculture, PNM came and shut
me off with no warning. None. They wouldn't even give me two days to
transfer money to pay. It was an instant end to my lights, computer, heat,
electric kettle, and telephone (because of the answering machine component).

Even when I had a medical certificate PNM threatened me every month with
disconnection, even though they aren't supposed to shut off utilities for people
with medical certificates.

So every month I'd be so stressed.

When I got some money from selling my rental, I called them, got the total
amount they said I owed and I sent it in, but the threats did not stop.

That's when it turned out that they took my money and labeled it as deposits,
and wanted me to pay the same amount again.

I think that was tacky. Plus, I think they should have told me what they were
going to do before I sent in the money.

So, on April 4, 2007 when PNM came and threatened to shut off my power
unless I paid $298, I was feeling anxious to start with (because of PNM's
habitual behavior and because court things have been major stressful).

I had over $200 in my bank account because I'd thought they were going to ask
for $189. (I would have sent the money in except court things were so stressful
I got confused on what part of the month it was. Using Bill Pay through my
bank had not been working so that was extremely stressful, rather than helpful.)

I asked the PNM fellow to give me a two days to transfer money so I'd have
enough to pay the $298, but no.

For a week or more I thought he'd said he'd come back next day. I kept thinking
he shut me off in retaliation after he was so unrelenting with the pressure and I
said, "You fucker!"

But yesterday when I looked at the tag he filled out before I said, "You fucker!"
I saw that it was filled out as a disconnect and he wasn't going to give me a day.

Because of my mental disability I get confused, especially when there's stress.

So, no lights or gas. But I wasn't using the gas anyway, even though I was
paying a $10 monthly access fee. (My furnace broke a couple years ago.)

The first thing I did was write to PNM. Senator Bingaman, and Adult Protective
Services. Writing the letters made me feel less isolated. (I couldn't call anyone.)

It was so odd not to be able to watch the news, or to know what time it was.
But without telly, I
read The Status
Syndrome by Michael
Marmot by flashlight.

That's sure the perfect
book for the situation.

It discusses how the
less status you have,
the earlier you are
likely to die. Marmot theorizes this happens because people with less status have
less control over their lives.

I would say that's like PNM threatening when you can't pay and have a medical
certificate, and threatening when you've paid but they've put the money into
deposits so that they can go right on threatening. (So irritating!!!)

Without a phone there was nothing I could do. I was having a lot of trouble with
my feet and did not want to endanger myself by trying to get to a neighbor's.

On Friday afternoon, which was Good Friday, I found a cheap, old phone that I
had used before I got my answering machine. The phone was a bit broken, so I
thought I might have thrown it out, and it was also hard to find with no light in
the walk in closet.

Life without coffee was a bleak prospect. If my little fig, in the big pot in the
picture of the coffee and beans, were to grow and do figs, what fun would
eating them be without coffee?

Which got me to thinking. I wondered if a candle would do it... And, what could
I put over the candle to set the water container on?

With this success behind me, I tried to heat my bedroom with candles... which
wasn't quite as successful, but at least it made me feel as if I was doing
something.

I want to say, this is turning out to be such a blessing. Now I can see why this
happened on San Isidro Day. Because so much good was going to grow out of it.

(I have a special sense of closeness to San Isidro because my father and
maternal grandfather were born on San Isidro Day. In addition to which my
paternal grandfather was president of the American Farm Bureau Federation.

(But... I've been reading Secrets of the Soil, which talks about the huge harm
mass fertilization and pesticide use does and I think, sadly, that my grandfather
was instrumental in the prominence they took in agriculture.

I know he thought he was helping to feed the world... and I know he went to
countries like India, England... when I was watching the Olympic games in
Yugoslavia with him, he said he spent a day with Tito.

But in reality, I think mass produced food is not good for us. I know I have
always thought that my Polish (maternal) grandfather lived to nearly a hundred
because he ate out of his garden.)

When I get more solar I want to write more about what I've discovered in my
garden. It's some pretty amazing stuff. : )

5/20/07 - I wish I'd had one of these solar lights (its solar panel is sitting on the
base of the 15 watt "DayLight" lamp) from the
beginning. It is a superb little light. I attach it
to my old halogen lamp, below, then I can
adjust it up or down. It's perfect. : )

It's on sale for half what I paid...

And here's the other thing (a lantern) that is
totally, perfectly useful:

This is a picture of all the lovely fruit in my freezer. Kitchen Angels sends fruit
many days a week, and I had decided that I would freeze it to have in the
summer when it's hot.

Each time I put a container of fruit into my freezer I had anticipated the summer
and how dynamite it would be to have these frozen, healthy treats. It reminded
me of when I first moved here from my condo and found that the apricot tree
around the corner made tons of apricots that were falling to the sidewalk with no
indication that anyone was picking any to eat.

I took a cardboard box and went round and picked so many that I was able to fill
a large part of my freezer. At the time I was thinking it would be great for winter
because at that time I didn't have money and was worried about food.

I'd asked my brother in Pennsylvania to send me $10 but he'd refused. (Too
funny, actually. I used to buy him all different things that I thought would make
him happy. He's seven years younger than me so I still thought of him as I did
when I used to take care of him while mom worked (Dad had deserted). I got
him a nice typewriter back when typewriters were the thing, I got him all
different Indian art and jewelry pieces when I moved here to New Mexico.)

Then, while I was in London and so lonely he wrote me once, exactly once in
nine years. But when I came back he wrote me asking me to please list the value
of the Indian things I'd sent him because he'd been broken into and all of the
things had been stolen and he wanted to collect the insurance.

I wrote back in quite unladylike terms, basically telling him to get stuffed. So,
overall I wasn't surprised when he said he would not send me $10. (I'm glad he
lives in Mechanicsburg, not Philadelphia, otherwise the City of Brotherly Love
would be ruined to me forever.)

It was heart wrenching to see all my lovely fruit go bad. Some of it looked so
good, but there was mold throughout and the smell of rotting replaced the fond
hopes I'd had of enjoying this fruit in the summer.

I had so looked forward to eating this fruit. What a waste! What a complete
waste because PNM refused to give me two days to tranfer the money to pay
them.

If what PNM did was about the money, they would have let me pay them in
two days. But they wouldn't, so to me, what they did was about exerting their
power and hurting me to show me exactly how powerful they are.

How despicable. No one should respect a company that behaves like this and
treats people like this. People should scorn this kind of abuse.

And, I'm not even mentioning how I had several stocks that I was going to sell
for a profit that afternoon, after 1:00 p.m. I lost about $2,000 overall from that
and not being able to do anything with my stocks.

For shame. For shame, PNM. How very unAmerican! I can see what the world
sees when the world sees our unAmerican behavior in Iraq: a complete disregard
for life, a complete lack of respect for life.

And, if you are thinking of voting for Bill Richardson, think about how this
happened in his state, New Mexico, and how he has done all but nothing to
ensure the rights of people with disabilities, which by virtue of reason extends to
all people.

If I didn't have a disability I wouldn't have been confused about the dates and
most likely I wouldn't have experienced this. But I am disabled and I did
experience it. I now know all too well how the disabled are treated when their
rights are not protected.